Well, this is it. EYAs are over. Surprisingly, I dont feel the sudden adreanline rush. I guess the tears from the math paper washed it all away. During the Math test, it was as if time was indeterminable; it streched to a second or a lifetime. It was as if I was just standing there as a silent observer, looking at myself scribble answers which were clearly a last-ditch attempt. Everything seemed to unfold in front of me but yet I could do nothing but look on. It felt really helpless. For the first time, I felt so defeated, defeated by a mere few pages of question. I know it's just one test but how is it possible to just treat it as an unpleasant dream during a troubling sleep? After all, who says you can't die from a thousand paper cuts? 

But, life goes on. Overated but definitely the truth. This shall just be a learning point, albeit one with a high price to pay. Hannah, you asked me to stop and I did. So, you better not start either. 'cause I wanna stand with you on the mountains :]  Anyway, went out later as the ten of us, Eenette, Kristie, Miranda, Jessica, Sylvia, Natalie, Huiyi, Eunice, Zann and I. Although zann had third lang and huiyi and eunice are in australia for cmps so they didnt join us. The plan of going to sentosa kind of flopped because I guess it was too ambitious but we are going there someday ok :] Details of the trip another day but, it was really cool! haha.

I realised I haven't been reading for the longest time ever! This is so depressing. I finally got my hands on beloved by toni morrison. It was recommended to me by me previous learning lab teacher. She lent it to me but it's just different when you own a book. It was a bit expensive but no matter, it's never too expensive for a good book. Somehow, it feels comforting while you just let the words flow. The feeling you get when you understand what the writer is trying to convey and all the hidden meaning that it encompasses is simply beyond words. Especially literary texts like beloved. On the surface, it seems like a dull book but when you actually delve inside the layers of meanings, it opens up a whole new possibility and perspective that you never ever get bored of the book. Letting the words wash over you is just a silent comfort in itself that makes reading so theraputic. 

This year has certainly been a very tiring year in terms of workload and emotions. It seemed so slow but yet so fast. Truth be told, I never ever liked travelling but I'm really looking forward to the Korea trip this year. This year has been so draining that I really need a break and Korea would be just the place. 

could it be?

hahah. I didnt exactly break the hiatus. It's just an interlude because i'm oh so considerate. haha I can just imagine people refreshing my livejournal over and over again and pining "oh jiaying why dont you update" especially huiyi right!  So, it's just to ease their anxiety to know about my interesting life! HAHA ok ok, before you start shouting "where's the barf bag" , i'm just joking. haha I blame it on the EYAs that I can't think straight. 

Anyway, life's been fine. For the past week, I've been staying back a few times with jiun to mug and lishan joined us once. Can i say we were quite productive? hahaha they're good mugging partners! At least we won't digress. haha studied at coffee bean today too with yingting, eleanor and jess j. 

Oh and I feel super super guilty. I have been missing a lot a lot of piano and elec guitar lessons. gragh. oh and not to mention english tuition too. I feel like i wasted my parents' money. Never mind, I shall work harder when i go back to resume music lessons. Hey, at least they're happy with my piano exam results. LOL. My exam pieces totally saved the day. haha i failed aural, sight reading and passed scales by two marks but my exam pieces pulled everything up! And athif, the guitar instructor is super nice so he wont mind me missing a few lessons right! 

204 has caught the mugging fever. Nowadays, so many people stay in class to mug during recesses or lunch haha I wanted to but oh well, im not anorexic like kristie so i need my food. And someone owes me the piano score right kristie? :] 

ok i'm off to do some work now (or sleep). roger, out! :]

ok I've a feeling this will turn out weird but it was just what suddenly struck me in the car and i just felt like writing it down.

I' ve been wondering for a really long time. Seriously, I think that badmouthing people on blogs are just plain rude. Isn't it basic courtesy not to insult someone behind his or her back? I mean, have you ever wondered how the other party will feel? Not to mention that it's just a cowardly behaviour. If you have something to say, you should just tell the person in the face. Whenever you go blog surfing, you see people writing stuff like "I hate you" Hate is really a strong word and it shouldn't be used for just anyone. Maybe it's just me but some words like this really have bad connatations. Sometimes, you just say those words out of moments of impulse but they do leave a indelible mark. Most people delete their entries after they realise what they did but i mean what's the point? Shouldn't you have just not written that down in the first place? Sure, you can argue for freedom of speech on your blog but you should at least be responsible for your words. 

I realised that sometimes, by saying what you really feel will render you as a mean person but on the other hand, not saying what you feel will make you appear hypocritical or fake. I've been wondering if there is any clear distinction between being subtle or being fake. There's just this grey area. Although I feel that sometimes, you just have to ignore people's view on yourself and just listen to the voice of truth. 

how much is too much?

woosh! hahaha i'm really excited now! Manda just told me that black eyed peas and click five will be coming to singapore on 22 october! so cool right! ahaha and yes manda, it's a date! but i think click five will only be there for the opening and maybe ending act :/ awwwwww. but no matter, im still very excited! haha. I was actually quite down just now but yup im just super excited now! hahaa

and especially, kyle patrick!!!!!! hahaha he's super super cute especially in Jenny. haha I usually only like the band as a band itself and not the individual but can i say he's really cute? haha I dont understand why people think eric drill is better than him. He's better ok! 

im really really looking forward to 22 october! haha. manda, you just made me sugar high! :]

oh man. my post just got deleted cause i accidentally closed the window. grrrrrrr. it was a long long post ok. Never mind humph, i shall just try my summary skills LOL. 

in conclusion, today was a pmsy day.

yay. ahaha full marks for summary anyone? oh dad booked the end year tour to korea. aw, dont really feel like going but never mind since holidays are a family thing. especially since i missed last year's one due to camp. oh hannah just burst my bubble. haha i thought my geog article was ok already then she said something which i realised i didnt include. gragh. hahaha and she doesnt trust my taste! humph. LOL, kidding. oh and i realised it's nice talking to her cause i can boost my ego! hahaa. and no xiaowei, im not the number one person who crushes myself. 

off to do my geog article now. wish me luck man.

 updated there. 'cause there's some stuff that cannot be said here. 

gosh, I was talking to xiaowei on the phone until like 2am yesterday or rather today. headache now. haha. i conclude that xiaowei is an obsessed stalker! tsk tsk

haha going out now so, ciao!

Happy happy birthday manda tai! though i dont know why im still so nice to you humph. thanks for insulting me everytime man. haha kidding, but yup, hope you enjoy 14! 

oh today was so-so. Lessons felt really really long though. haha oh and huiyi made a fool out of herself again. Why am i not surprised huh. hahah. 'cause she was like leaning on me from behind and stuff, so i saw miss lee enter the room so i shrugged her off. but, the blind huiyi didnt see miss lee so she thought i pushed her away. then, she exclaimed "hoi!" like super loudly haha and almost banged into miss lee. huiyi, you're one of a kind! haha. Other than that, today was boring. oh although amanda chan and miranda did keep me entertained. haha they were acting out cliched love scenes from drama serials. it was, retarded!

 Although im starting to feel the stress from eyas. i cant believe my history marks like seriously. urgh. and i'm getting back lit sa tomorrow. it's days like these that I start to doubt myself.